When Your Team Falls Apart

Pitching wins championships and my Astros are making me nervous. The Ace in the Hole is now a two on the table, as Roy Oswalt has performed more like Jose Lima this year than Roy Oswalt. Shawn Chacon's brush with above -average has become a precipitous drop toward average at best. Brandon Backe continues to clip at an average rate. Every other starter is an unproven commodity or a proven short comer.
The Starting Pitching isn't the only problem. The pen isn't exactly outstanding lately either. Jose Valverde remins of the old high saves, so-so ERA days of Octavio Dotel. Brad Lidge's All-Star performance twists the knife even deeper. Aside from Geoff Geary (who may not hold up) the Astros are dealing with problems in the pen. Lance Berkman is hitting like Babe Ruth and Miguel Tejada is knocking it with the best of them and the offense is still struggling lately. I look toward lead off man Michael Bourn's hefty .215 batting average and our catching platoon's deep, sub-Mendoza Line batting averages for answers. Ed Wade has overplayed his hand, relying on JR Towles as the catcher of the future. I have to concede that I thought Towles would close the gap too, but I'm not paid the big bucks to make that decision.
How to turn around such a mess? Several items of business are certain to make the docket in that conversation. The first is that the Astros must shuffle the lineup and try out new hitters. Ausmus and Towles are failing the team and must be moved around. At least Humberto Quintero hit .200 out there, and his arm is better than either one. Michael Bourn has to be replaced. The problem is that the round Rock Express has exactly one hitter and he plays first base. If the Astros did bring JR House back to the majors and he managed to succeed, the team would have to teach him to play left and move Hunter Pence to center or right, but that wouldn't work because you would have to put out two below average outfielders. Guys would be trying their hardest to pull the ball past the Astros sub par outfield and succeeding.
The only viable solution involving House is to put him at first and move Lance Berkman back to the outfield. That strategy is ultimately risky, as Berkman's mammoth year might cool due to discontent. Repaying an MVP year with a position change is utterly ridiculous.
Scott Hatteberg is becoming a free agent today. Hatteberg hit .193 last year. As crazy as it sounds, adding a guy like him to the bench could truly help. This offense is so far held together with players like Mark Loretta and Darin Erstad coming off the bench to get the job done. Hatteberg fits into that category nicely. Aside from last year, Hatteberg has been a blue chip for decent offensive production.
Of course, you know you are in trouble if that's your best solution to a titanic problem. Sometimes, the only way to hold together the Titanic is bird poop and glue; This is one of those times.